My Sweet Thanksgiving Gift
by Susan Farmer
Copyrighted


It was the day before Thanksgiving. A while back my daughter had turned 18 and left home to become independent. She had also had a falling out with her parents for a little while. But despite my sadness at her leaving and our falling out, I had been trying to meet with her a couple of times a week. She was living about a half an hour away and it was Wednesday morning, the day before Thanksgiving. We had agreed to meet early that
morning, at six thirty a.m. And there I was, waiting at the appointed time, at the appointed place. Ten minutes later I was still waiting. I called her, but there was no answer, just a recording. Twenty minutes later I was still waiting and calling, but still no answer. Finally I called one of her friends and discovered she had indeed spent the night there. And finally, there she was, on the phone. "Thanks for telling me!" I said, upset. I had driven a half an hour, waited and waited, and she was a no show. Man, was I steaming mad. She said she was sorry, but it sounded like it was no big deal to her.

And that whole way back home I was sad, angry and very disappointed. So, I decided to call her again and let her know how I felt. But when I called I was told she had already left for her class. Man, what a day. What a way to start the day. So finally home once again and still seething,
I decided to turn on my computer. And then I checked my email.

And there it was. An apology from my sweet, sweet daughter. Her apology here seemed heartfelt and sincere, and I instantly forgave her.
As parents, trying to figure out and guide your teenager can sometimes seem so difficult and just so merciless. You can definitely feel like you are pounding your head against a rock. If you are reading this article and are having trouble with one of your teens, just realize you are not alone.

In fact in this post I am going to show you a few places you can go on the internet to read about other parents and their difficulties and solutions
regarding relationships with their teenage children. (Besides just reading about my dysfunctional family).

1. http://lds.org. Then click on gospel library. On the next screen click on search gospel library. On the next screen a search screen will come up.
Type in wayward child or wayward teen. Lots and lots of articles will come up that will give you lots of insight and parents sharing their .
experiences.

2. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psteens. Parents message board just looking for answers.

3. http://forums.familyeducation.com/topic/parenting/raising-teens. Another message board for Parents seeking help and solutions.

4. http://parentingteens.about.com/ Lots of articles here.

5. http://www.byparents-forparents.com/articles.html Lots of articles here too.

At least these internet sites can let you know you are not alone with your struggles to raise a teenager, which I know by experience can be
terribly rocky. And sometimes you can feel like a failure, humiliated , beat up emotionally, and crying a lot. But the thing to remember
is never give up. Sometimes when you don't know what to do inspiration can come in many ways. It can come from your Angels, from friends,
from what you read, sometimes just what feels like the right thing to do. Just make sure your decisions are tempered by love, patience,
and forgiveness.


Oh what was my Thanksgiving gift? My sweet, difficult, loving daughter gave me a heartfelt apology. It was a great gift on the day before Thanksgiving.

Warm wishes,

Susan Farmer

Do You Have An Outcast In Your Family?
If So, Heres What To Do!
by Susan Farmer
Copyrighted



Christy sat on in her college apartment. She sat in the kitchen, doing some homework. And when she was done with that, she would probably do some cleaning, then maybe watch a little t.v. She looked sadly down at her body. Well, she was a little overweight, maybe you could even call her plump. She wondered what her roommates were doing on this Friday night. She knew Kayla was out dancing, and Alison out on a date. Everyone was doing something fun. She didn't have many friends and she knew she wasn't the prettiest girl. Still, she sure would like to do something fun and have some friends. And she sure was lonely. Well, she thought, later I guess I'll just read a good book, maybe that mystery she had bought earlier in the day.

Then suddenly, there was a knock at the door. She jumped, startled! Who could that be? Cautiously, Christy opened the door. And there outside
were a dozen people, asking for her! Who were they? They lived in the apartment complex they said and were members of her church at college.
Some of the girls she recognized. They were all well dressed and clean cut kids. Smiling, they took out a blindfold and said they were kidnapping her.
They placed the blindfold over her eyes. "Where are we going?" she asked. "You'll see!" they replied.

Ten minutes later two cars pulled into a nice restaurant. All of them piled out and then carefully helped Christy. They held her hands and guided her into the restaurant. Then just inside they pulled off the blindfold. "Hungry?" their leader asked. This must have been prearranged because they were quickly led to a long table. They told her she was the guest of honor and to order anything she liked, it was all taken care of. Everyone sat down and began talking. everyone had lots of questions for her. The group included her in their conversations and made her feel like a princess. A light of happiness and joy came into her eyes that night. She was having so much fun that she didn't realize how much time had passed. And when it was all over, she was so happy, she couldn't thank her new friends enough.

When she got bank home to her apartment, to her surprise all of her roommates were there to welcome her. They had known all along they said.
And they were part of the plan.

Two weeks later, she was still talking about her adventure and how happy that had made her. Her roommates said that the kind gesture of
her thoughtful church group had even sparked some confidence and newfound self esteem and motivation.

Well. I hope you enjoyed the story. It really happened. I was one of the group who kidnapped her. And it was as wonderful for me as it was for her. I have never forgotten how happy she was by our gesture and how much fun itwas for all of us.

Now, what if you have someone in your family who has lost touch, and maybe even lives nearby. Well get the family together and kidnap your prodigal family member. And do something fun. And when that family member realizes that everyone is there out of love, that outcast will come around, maybe even melt right then and there.

It is always worth a try to reach out to family. Sometimes they may be on the wrong path, sometimes they may just have lost touch, sometimes
they may just think everyone in the family is just too mad to speak to him or her and will never forgive. Reaching out to this outcast family member
may be the very thing that turns their life around. And for sure they will never forget the gesture and the love.

Well you might ask, what kind of things should we try?

Well here are some ideas:

Restaurant
Bungee Jumping
Fishing
Camping
Swimming
Barbecue
Bowling
Boating
Beach
Boardwalk
Vacation somewhere
Charades
Baseball
Football
Basketball
Other Games
Picnic
Water Slide/Park

Well you get the idea. Just make sure that there is plenty of potential for lots of family interaction. Next try to plan regular family get
togethers and include the family outcast as well. When you take him/her home make sure your family member knows he or she is loved
and a part of the family. Reaching out takes effort, courage, and love. But in the end it will matter and your effort may be the one thing
that brings the family together.

Warmest wishes!

Susan Farmer